Bantering
by M.S. Dae
Summary: Ron and Hermione chatting, arguing, and what else? Bantering.
1. In the Garden

**Bantering**

**Part One**

**In the Garden**

**By- M.S. Dae**

**Disclaimer- J.K. Rowling is too cool. I am so lame. Exactly.**

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"Ron…I need to talk to you."

"Yeah?"

"Ron I…is that really necessary?"

"Course it is."

"Tying their limbs together? Honestly Ron…"

"Well how many garden gnomes have you had to deal with?"

"That's not the point I'm trying to make…you could just ask them nicely…"

"And you're suppose to be the smartest witch in our year because…"

"That's not fair, garden gnomes are fairly intelligent creatures you know!"

"Oh well obviously. Did you see that ingenious hex of his?"

"Ron-"

"No, no, really. 'Gerroff! Gerroff!' And they don't even use wands! Greater than Merlin himself I'd say."

"Oh very funny."

"You're the one laughing."

"Anyway I came here to tell you-"

"Wow! Did you see that throw? Probably a good eighty feet! It's all thanks to these puppies right here."

"Yes Ron, your biceps are incredible, now I need to-"

"You really think so? I think Quidditch has done wonders for them…being King Weasley and what not."

"Ron I-"

"That one was pretty good too. Why don't you give it a go Hermione?"

"No that's quite all right."

"Oh come on, it's fun. Here, take one."

"Kind of…slimy aren't they?"

"Yeah they are. Don't let him bite you now…"

"Like this?"

"Pathetic! You're supposed to _throw_ him, not _drop_ him. Take another, yeah, that little midget one over there."

"Ow! It bit me!"

"Brilliant! That one won't be coming back for weeks."

"It bit me!"

"Let me have a look…you'll be fine…"

"Give me another one."

"Hermione?"

"That one, the big fat one."

"Um… all right…bloody hell Hermione!"

"I want another one."

"Err, that was the last one…"

"Oh. Right."

"But they'll be back tomorrow…well come out here and get the little buggers... Just you and me..."

"That would be… nice…oh and Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"It's time for dinner."

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**I know, the title doesn't really go with this, but I might decide to add future chapters in which the pair is, in fact, bantering. Or arguing, which ever. The idea of just dialogue struck me today when trying to get over some writer's block. Ron was little too confident, wasn't he? Ah well.** **Now if you've read, you should review, and tell me whether or not future chapters would be a good idea. Thanks in advance!**

**Sign me up for the storm, I'll wear my suit for the shower**

**(Cause I'll have you to keep me warm in the coldest hour)**

**-Dae**


	2. Dress Robes

**Bantering**

**Part II**

**Dress Robes**

**By-M.S. Dae**

**Disclaimer- Still not mine. (Sigh)**

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"Ron, come out all ready, I won't _bite_ you." 

"They look ridiculous…"

"Oh I'm sure you're exaggerating. Besides, you have to come out some time, your mother will be back any minute now!"

"Fine."

"They look…"

"I know I look rubbish."

"No! No, Ron you look…ah, _sophisticated_."

"Hermione you don't have to lie. Really, it's fine."

"No, I'm not! I mean, what can you do about it, red is Bill's favorite color…oh please don't, they look good on you!"

"I feel like a bloody quaffle."

"Oh come now, they're not _quite_ that red."

"Maybe I'll just pretend I'm sick."

"Ron, don't be ridiculous. All your brothers will be wearing the same thing."

"Well, dancing with Aunt Mildred again isn't the worst I've done…"

"Ron stop it! Any girl would be lucky to dance with you!"

"…Really?"

"Yes…really."

"Um thanks…well it looks like you're next."

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"Ron? Are they really that bad?" 

"Oh no, they look…nice."

"I thought orange might be better…"

"No, blue's really…good."

"Madam Malkin said she had a set of red ones…"

"Nah. We'd look like a pair of…"

"A pair of what?"

"Err…nevermind. The blue's good."

"Yeah. I suppose you're right."

"Hey Hermione?"

"Yes, Ron?"

"Do you know how to, err…_dance_?"

"I suppose…why?"

"Oh nothing. Just wondering."

"Oh…all right-there's your mother Ron."

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**Just to clarify, this is before the wedding. I really truly love these two. It's good to get some last minute fluff out before they're for reals cannon (not even two days!!)! Thanks to all who reviewed last chapter, I really appreciate it! So gracias to vreales, dancerrdw, WickedFeather, and Pyromaniac-Girl.**

**This is the most unusual story**

**(Of a most unusual girl)**

**-Dae**


	3. What Book?

**Bantering**

**Part III**

**What Book?**

**By- M.S. Dae**

**Disclaimer- I'm an amazing billionaire British genius. As if.**

"Oh there you are Ron."

"Oh! Hermione-um hi!"

"Ron? What's that book you're reading?"

"Book? What book?"

"The one you shoved beneath your pillow…"

"Hermione don't be ridiculous! I don't read, you know that!"

"All right…well I thought I'd warn you."

"What is it?"

"I over heard your mother saying if she caught your room in the same state as it was yesterday, she'd reek a greater havoc on it herself."

"Oh, is that all?"

"I wouldn't throw her threat aside, Ron. She was uttering something about Doxies-"

"Oh all right, all right…what was that again? _Cleanious!_"

"Err…not exactly Ron…here."

"Oi, thanks Hermione, you're brilliant!"

"Oh…why thank you Ron…is um…is everything…"

"What?"

"Oh nothing, it just seems you've been…particularly _kind_ as of late."

"And it's surprising?"

"That's not what I…well, yes actually."

"Then I guess you could say I'm full of them."

"…Ron?"

"Here."

"Ron! _Hogwarts, a History?_"

"Yeah."

"Oh wow Ron…how is it?"

"Well…you know."

"You hate it, don't you? Bored to tears."

"Err…"

"You're amazing Ron. Really."

**A/N- Any good? Well it's like 2:30 in the morning…so you could imagine it's a little…gargled. But that book? Yeah, sure Ron was reading Hogwarts a History, but we all know what else he might be anxious to hide from 'mione…(for those who read DH)**

**The comedy is that it's serious **

**(which is a dangerous liaison)**

**-Dae**


	4. Eat Slugs

**Bantering**

**Part IV**

**Eat Slugs**

**By-M.S. Dae**

**Disclaimer- If I came up with the idea of a slug curse I'd love me. **

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**"Hey Hermione." 

"Oh Ron, writing to Harry are you?"

"No…not exactly."

"Then what are you-"

"It's a Memopad, from Fred and George's shop."

"A memopad? Like to write things on?"

"No…here, read this."

"…Enchanted to relive your greatest moments…soundless version, great for tuning out of a boring lesson…they never cease to amaze do they?"

"Yeah well, it didn't come cheap."

"This is almost like a portable pensive…wow…"

"Well here, why don't you try it out?"

"Oh…all right then. Do I just-"

"Yeah, hold your quill to it…well more like this…yeah that's right…now concentrate really hard…"

"Oh my…it's very vivid…"

"I'll say…"

"Oh! You can see it to then?"

"Eck…I was hoping I'd forget that."

"I'm so very sorry! Here let me stop it…"

"So…"

"Um…"

"Slugs, huh?"

"Well, you know, I miss the Quidditch pitch and um, that Alicia…I was fond of her…"

"Oh come off it Hermione. I guess it might've been funny…"

"No! That's not it at all!"

"Then…you really do like Quidditch? And hippogriffs can swim?"

"Ha ha. No. It's because I…"

"Yeah?"

"Because I…because you were really brave, Ron."

"Oh…thanks…"

"And Alicia, don't forget. I was very fond of her."

"Right."

"Well, I've got to go see Ginny about that…_thing_ I left her…"

"Yeah, okay. And Hermione?"

"Yes Ron?"

"It was worth it."

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**Thanks to all reviewers!**

**This book is so awesome.**

**(I can do anything)**

**-Dae**


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